The Truth About Motherhood

If you were to ask me ten months ago what I'd be doing now, I would definitely not have predicted spending a large portion of my day breastfeeding a newborn... which, I still think is so weird, primal, and beautiful. My life is now wrapped around the fingers of this tiny, fussy, adorable little man.

When you first give birth there are so many things they don't tell you...

Like, the epidural is your friend, and perhaps the greatest breakthrough in modern medicine.

Or that breastfeeding is really, really hard, and the first few days you might totally suck at it, or not produce enough milk to feed your screaming, crying baby.

Or that newborns sometimes just cry for hours on end at three am and it’s perfectly normal.

I remember crying everyday in the hospital. Here's the thing, I rarely cry, and these weren't tears of joy necessarily. They were tears of holy-shit, I don't even know how to properly hold this thing, and I'm supposed to take him home in 24 hours? I miss my old life!

I'm not going to lie, I was scared. I missed my dogs and truthfully, I felt like I could never love the new baby as much as my fur babies. And, then I cried because I felt wrong for even thinking that.

What they don't tell you is that your relationship with your baby is similar to any relationship. It takes time to fully blossom. Yes, it might be love at first sight, but believe me, when you try to change his diaper and he projectile poops right on you, you might not be feeling the love 100%.

But, I will tell you that I've only had this guy for nearly a month and I can't imagine my life without him. When I go to the gym or run an errand, I rush back to make sure he's ok and miss him horribly the whole time I'm gone.

I'm a new mom and I'm still learning. And, believe me I have a lot to learn, (still trying to get the swaddle thing down), but I do think this is going to be one of the most challenging and exciting journeys I have ever taken, and I've taken a few pretty trippy ayashcha journeys... this one is definitely life-changing.

I just want to say to all those Moms & Dads out there, including my own: mad props! You never realize the effort & dedication it takes to be parent until you become one.