Toxic Relationships: When You’re Hacking Phones and Crying For Hours

So, a lot of my friends and clients have been going through toxic relationships. This is a subject that I am well versed in, so, I figured I’d blog it out. In my younger years, I spent a lot of time yelling and being yelled at, saying hurtful things and having my phone and emails being hacked by my significant other… Yep, I think a lot of us have spent time in one of those relationships… They don’t work. Here’s the thing that I realized more recently, the reason those past relationships didn’t work, started with me. I didn’t love myself, so I kept attracting partners who also didn’t love themselves.

Emotion and the Roots of Meta-Medicine

If you’ve never studied Meta-Medicine, it isn’t a new therapy. It is a diagnostic tool that gives a holistic understanding of the disease process, as it relates to emotion. A central idea in Meta-Medicine is that our emotions are stored in our body as pain, stress, and ailment. When we think negative thoughts it is as toxic for us as what we put in our body. So, having negative self-loathing thoughts about yourself is as bad for you as drinking a bottle of jack, with a side of cigarettes and deep fried Oreos.

Here’s the thing. When we don’t love ourselves we tend to attract a mate that also doesn’t have a healthy amount of self-love. Now, two people that are severely lacking in the self-love department will hardly be able to end up happy together. When partners hold on to feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, they have a tendency to take it out on each other.  Blaming their partner for life’s problem.  So, here are some signs that your relationship is getting too toxic to breathe.


  1. You spend more time being unhappy with your partner then happy.
  2. You find yourself interested in other lovers while being monogamous.
  3. You feel depressed or stuck.
  4. You or your partner are behaving violently or aggressively or having regular heated arguments.
  5. Wanting to lash out at your partner or get revenge


  1. Don’t be afraid to cut cords. We always get so scared that we’ll end up alone and avoid going back into the dating pool. Staying in a toxic relationship will only hinder you from finding a better match.
  2. Once you’ve cut cords, spend some time with yourself. Being single can be an incredible change of pace. You can truly learn to love yourself and be ok with just you because you’re amazing!
  3. Once you’ve spent some time enjoying and loving yourself you’ll be ready to find a new relationship, one that isn’t toxic!